Familiar smells

It's nice to see Heidi back and all slimmed down. Not that I minded having more of Heidi to love, of course. No Opossum body fascism here, but if it means Heidi will be around for for longer, then I'm all for it. Hey I wonder if anyone's ever made an amusing photoshopped picture of Heidi wearing glasses? Watch this space!

Apparently Heidi's species has the uncanny ability, when threatened, to play dead convincingly by lying still for days at a time, emitting a foul-smelling liquid. Now a clever satirical blogger would be using this as a way into talking about current events of which I spoke in the previous post and at least one other in the past- Andy Hayman was a bent copper. Or an easily blackmail-able one. Or neither. Poor Andy, they laughed at him in Parliament.

But no! Nearly! I'm instead going to rabbit on about some other tangential shit altogether. I've said enough already. You don't need me to elaborate on why the archaic, corrupt business of journalism is inferior to the sleek, modern world of the blog where real useful information is showered on you for free by the type of person who claims to be a trans-dimensional dragon entity, who is simultaneously the rightful King of the Britons and a lot more besides. That would be a waste of your time! Why are you even reading this? There's so much else to do! Go and make peace with your father! Make an airfix model! Write a letter to Joan Bakewell. Take your Tortoise to the Opera. Learn to play the Trombone and follow Eric Pickles around with it. Do it! He'll never be able to catch you.

Meanwhile, in a not overly staggering coincidence, Lorelei King who so excellently voiced the audio version of The Year of the Flood turned up playing Judge Hershey and Maria the Landlady in an audio version of an old Judge Dredd story. It was great! Dr Zoidberg was in it, too. It seems to a real skill, reading aloud and making a story come to life. Stefan Rudnicki seems to be about the best male voice I've heard though I once had a tape version of Darkness at Noon read by Frank Muller that was pretty good. I've mentioned John Chancer's brilliant reading of Oryx and Crake but have a listen to this guy, Justin Brett, an amateur as far as I know, reading Chapter 13 of Decline & Fall of the Roman Empire by Edward Gibbon:

http://librivox.org/the-decline-and-fall-of-the-roman-empire-vol-i-by-edward-gibbon/

I like Lizzie Driver too.

Here's Lorelei king's website: http://www.loreleiking.com/voiceover.php?PHPSESSID=4a4668d2b533890bf582521a7ab81a50 If you listen to the character samples, it finishes with her singing as TV Teddy which sounds well funny. On the commercials one, there's a voice-over for the Galleria in Hatfield on the A1 (M). It's a pity she didn't do it in the character of Blanco from YOTF: Hey bitch! Get your skinny ass down to the Galleria in Hatfield on the A1 (M). Or I'll cut you up!

All this talk of Hatfield and the north has reminded me that Stuart Maconie's extra freak-zone show is on at midnight. I often forget. I seem to forget so much these days...it all blurs together as it rushes past me and leaves me behind. I'll never forget you, though. xxxx

You are like a Hurricane

It's that man again! Harry Pollit meets Mao there with 2 gents I am unable to identify. Stalinist shitbags I'd imagine. Pollit probably even met the great man himself I'd imagine. What must it be like being in the presence of such power? Would you be able to remain aware of what a ludicrous monstrosity it is that such a thing could happen? It even does the men themselves no good (it usually is men), they become hideous distortions of themselves, become paranoid, self-obsessed and grow old early. That's how it is with me anyway.

 

A real such example of a power accumulator in our current age is Rupert Murdoch. Now despite the fact he's nakedly evil, you've got to admire the fact he hasn't gone totally statues on everyone. Admittedly he wants to control the world's media but is it really so different from the Oak Tree dropping thousands of Acorns to fill the land with replicas of itself? Well it's a bit different, especially in that Murdoch's got a better chance of achieving his aims. Well actually he hasn't. He's only really got meaningful power in the English-speaking world as far as I can tell. Mao's successors certainly won't Kow-tow to him but I'm sure they respect him, as I do in my way, as one respects something impressively big and dangerous like shark or a hurricane. Still, you can't see Assad appearing in The Simpsons.

 

Despite his power even Rupert (we're on first-name terms) had to emerge today to make a statement in regard to the mess that's been stirred up now the public know about the hacking of phones belonging victims of terrorism, parents of murdered children and even one belonging to to a murdered (then-missing) teenage girl and even worse, the deleting of her messages (pleading family members) to make room for more messages in case some interesting tit-bit should emerge from it. Unaware of this, the family found hope in this, believing the missing girl herself was deleting these messages. Really sick stuff. There's the obvious buying of policeman (they're on their way, Hayman! Funny if your nemesis Ali Dezai is the arresting officer!) and this new allegation of News International operatives stalking a detective investigating the axe murder of a Private Investigator, possibly looking for dirt on him to inhibit the investigation.

 

How come Murdoch hasn't yet ditched Rebekah Brooks? She had got close to Cammers but he'll surely put a lid on that now. Perhaps Rupert really likes her, really really. Maybe she has some top dirt on one of his spawn. You can imagine a Murdoch son being in to some dodgy stuff. Rupert craved money and power but they were raised into it. What do they crave?

Yes, let's hope that we've turned a corner. Let the message go over to our friends in the US this is what's really behind the shrill barking of that annoying old Fox. Those cock-wad democrat scum should be on the offensive with this stuff instead of spending billions of tax dollars on photographing their cocks or whatever it is they do.

 

Okay that's the boring writing bit done. Link time! I finally worked up the courage to go sniffing around Deviant Art again for pictures of Koosie and Crackers. I wasn't to be let down! There's some great work out there and I can't possibly link to them all so I've picked 2 favourites:

http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=crackers+imaginary#/d2urhjj

 

http://browse.deviantart.com/?qh=&section=&q=koosie#/d2zkn56