Saturday, February 02, 2013

Voice of the Beehive


Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! I’ll explain later! Got some housekeeping to deal with first:
My delight at actually having some viewers in the stats section of my blog dashboard crashed to earth when I was contacted by the trans-dimensional Buddhist 'Beings’-rights' campaign organisation OMNESTY INTERPLANETRY about some things I’d written about abducting children and livestock in Dragons, Communists & Fairies. To clear up this misunderstanding as best I can and so as to not get in any trouble with your terrestrial authorities I’ll tell you humes what I told them. Well, not exactly what I told them as it would be impossible for you to comprehend fully the language and concepts of their transcendental compassion in which the discussion was framed. Don’t beat yourself up about that. Honestly you’re much better for being the belligerent, cynical and unpleasant cuties that you are. You know the look that Kittens get when they’re fighting? It’s like that. Way better than the snooty superiority of the infinitely compassionate ones.
Anyhoo, while it is true that I do occasionally unethically abduct beings from the naïve, I absolutely guarantee that none of them are harmed. Not really anyway. The children are invariably given back to their communities after a brief indoctrination so that when they return as star-children or whatever, they grow up to be leaders of their communities and develop their future civilisations as I see fit. Admittedly sometimes they are crucified and stuff but that’s not my doing is it? It only happens in a very small, statistically insignificant number of cases. I know none of that is totally politically-correct but to be frank, there’s way worse than me doing it - as well you know from the history of this planet alone. I could name names but it might get me in even worse trouble.
As for the livestock, well they generally get a much better deal than you would expect. As a consumption-culture it’s very hard for you to imagine a lot else to do with, for example, a Cow, than drink its milk, eat its flesh and wear its arse. Well for starters, while eating is undoubtedly pleasurable, it’s at the bottom end of sensory experiences and is a laughably inefficient way of obtaining energy for sustaining life. The best thing that can be said for it is that it does produce shit which is a wonderful substance if, so I’m told, a bit smelly. No, there are lots of good uses I can put your cow to.  There are some places (there even used to be one here on Earth) where cows are venerated. So if I turn up at such a place with a cow then I’m immediately recognised as semi-divine and so me and the Cow can take it easy. There are even places (possibly future-Earth!) where Cows have evolved to be the dominant life-form so their scientists are absolutely fascinated to see a primative Bovinate. There are so many variations in the near-infinite universe that whatever you’ve got, there’s a world where someone will be pleased to see you. The Chicken world, for instance, is highly irritating.
Naturally the Omnesty types were totally unimpressed with this but other than some tutting and more looking down their noses , there’s not a lot a lot they can do to stop me. Obviously I’m not allowed to enter Nirvana but from what I hear, it’s pretty boring. I can still listen to this and this so what else do I need, Nirvanawise? Other than the disapproval, it was nice to see them, despite everything, as they are exceedingly beautiful. The picture above was a photo I took with my digicam. It didn’t come out totally flattering to them (always smile for a photo) and I suppose with human optics it just looks like a psychedelic blurry mess. You’d have to borrow my glasses.
OK why Voice of the Beehive? Well partly as it was going to be a way into talking about Quantum Biology which I probably won’t bother with now. Basically when you understand it, lots of mysteries like swarm-communication and post-temporal divination will be cleared up nicely for you. For another day! No, mostly, it was because yesterday I went to work with insufficient material on my MP3 player so had to listen to a few songs more than once. 'Don't Call Me Baby' by Voice of the Beehive-was listened to  4 times, closely followed by ‘Modern Love’ by David Bowie and ‘The Killing Moon’ by Echo and the Bunnyman 3 times and ‘Safety Dance’ by Men Without Hats twice. They was off some dodgy 80s compilation.